chef_chocobro | Office Hours: Office #27; Thursday [04/07].

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Office Hours: Office #27; Thursday [04/07].

Ignis was not typically one to be glued to his phone, as it were, but Ignis had also not usually been roped into a sudden bout of party planning with a woman whose phone may one day have to be surgically removed from her hand, either.

It all started last night, when Summer was given the information that Shane's birthday was next week, which meant flooding his phone with texts in a fashion that made him wonder if there had even been any bartending done last night. And it had continued throughout the day, to the point where he felt the need to point out that he was on the island, wouldn't this be easier if she just came by his office and they could make plan together there? To which he just got a response of "LOL" and he honestly wasn't sure how to interpret that.

But, yes, either way, in addition to everything else on his slowly, increasingly bloated schedule, he now had a party to help plan as well.

And, as much as he may internally complain and disparingly sigh about it, he was actually glad that Summer was roping him into it and that he would be having an active hand in it. He wouldn't tell her he was grateful for that, because then he'd never hear the end of it, but he was.

He was also waiting for the right moment to drop in that ~~the mun~~ she had entirely missed Gladio's birthday a few days ago, too, just to throw her off her game that little bit.

[[ door and office are open! ]]

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Goose still didn’t feel brilliant, what with the lack of sleep and the general angst about the information he had found out last weekend but talking to Summer had helped even if he still didn’t really know what he should do.

Which had also somehow turned into having a birthday party being organised for him, which he still felt rather weird about the idea if his birthday being celebrated.

He stopped by the bakery for the usual coffee and pastries and came by Ignis’ office.

“Hey,” he said quietly, a little more subdued than normal but he was trying to continue. “are you busy?” even if by now he was starting to figure out what that answer was always going to be but he figured it didn’t hurt to ask.

Never one to want to disappoint, Ignis grinned faintly as he looked up from the distraction of his phone to fulfil that expectation. "Always," he said, and then almost pointedly turned off his phone's screen and set it aside as his attention went undivided toward the door. "But never so much that I can't spare some time for you, Shane."

His visits were practically part of the schedule now.

"Please. Come in."

Goose smiled softly at that, stepping into the office and making his way to the desk as was practically routine by now.

He got out Ignis’ coffee and handed it towards him, finding that he was suddenly nervous about telling Ignis about Walsh and Max and how confused he was feeling.

“I …” he started and then stopped, “I …I …have to tell you about something, about the weekend…” his voice trailed off uncertainly, unsure of where to even begin. Ignis already knew the truth about what he was but revealing that he now had a father and that it was his CO just seemed daunting to him.

The smile on Ignis' face softed a little with those words, as he took the coffee with Shane with a grateful nod. "I was actually hoping you would," he admitted, easily enough, especially since this rather saved him the trouble of attemting to delicately weave the topic into their conversation today, and...well...it was encouraging, wasn't it? That he would want to bring it up to him without even any prompting?

"I could tell," he added, settling back in his chair with the cup tucked in his hands, his head tilted slightly as he looked over at Shane, "when I got back from the store that something was clearly on your mind. I didn't want to impose, though, of course, and figured you might like a little time to work on it before I went and dragged it all out again. Especially when you could be enjoying time with the girls while they were here."

“The girls were great,” Goose smiled softly as he took a seat, holding onto his coffee, “it was nice to see Star again, even though I suppose being 16 she probably won’t be visiting again unless she’s from my future and we find the lab she was created in,”

Star had been very vague about how she had been found but he supposed he would find out soon enough if it was the same timeline.

Goose took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves.

“I …well I …speaking of labs …I …I found out Commander Walsh, I mean my CO …is my father,” his cheeks felt wet and he realised to his horror that he had started crying.

He never cried and here he was blinking back tears talking about Walsh.

Edited 2022-04-07 10:52 (UTC)

Even as troubled as Shane had been when Ignis returned from the store on Saturday, he would have never expected such an outpouring of emotion like this right out the gate, and he frowned, brows furrowing in surprise as well as concern. He was suddenly wondering if this was a conversation better had over something far stronger than coffee.

"Your...father?" he asked, and feeling....slightly inefficient for the moment, which he never particularly liked, but when you were conditioned to pretty much supress most emotions since you were almost too small to really comprehend the complexity of feelings, it always took a moment to know just what to do when confronted with them. He looked around his desk a little, trying to locate where some tissues were, so that he could take a few and hand them over the desk to Shane, the concern now taking precedence in his expression.

"I...do you mean it was his genetics that were used when you were..." In light of actively planning for Shane's birthday, it seemed oddly cruel and an ill-fit to use the word created, "...born? Or do you mean in a more..." The frown deepened again over word choice, "...tradtional fashion?"

Goose closed his eyes, trying to keep those tears at bay but they kept falling faster now.

Why was he crying now?

“He put his own dna in me when I was cr…born,” Goose let out a sob, mentally cursing how weak he was being.

“I don’t know why …we weren’t supposed to have living relatives, I shouldn’t exist at all and if the Board of Leaders find out …they’ve been looking for any excuse to put me on ice, they’ll go after Walsh …they’ll cover their tracks to hide how much of a failure Wolf Den was,”

There was a long pause, not only for Ignis to put together his thoughts, but also just to ensure when Shane had finished, careful not to cut him off if there were more. But even as it was, that seemed an awful lot to juggle at the moment, and doubtless there was still plenty more. His frown deepened, looking at Shane with a thoughtful intensity.

And, with much more uncertainty, though he tried not to let it show, extending a hand out for him across the desk.

"Then it would seem to me," he finally said, a low and steady drawl, "that it would be imperitive to ensure that the Board of Leaders don't find out. Which, if they've managed to go this far without knowing, shouldn't be too difficult."

Goose hesitated and reached his own hand over to take hold of Ignis’, “one of them does know,” he said, “Senator Wheiner, he …he was responsible for what happened at Wolf Den,” he was still having trouble comprehending that the man who was always after him, had the biggest secret that could destroy both him and Walsh, “the only reason I’m not in a cryogenic chamber right now is because he and Walsh have been blackmailing each other for years,”

Grateful that Shane had taken the proferred hand (and relieved that it had seemed like the right choice; interpersonal relationships outside of his duties were definitely a weak point in Ignis's skillset), Ignis gave it a small, reassuring squeeze, and breathed out through his nose in what could have been considered a wry laugh.

"From what you've told me about what happened at Wolf Den," he noted dryly, "I should imagine he'd be wanting to tread lightly with any information regarding it if he's resposible." And then there seemed to be a sort of shift, a small outpouring of sympathy, as he reminded himself that Shane wasn't exactly built for the intrigue side of politics.

But Ignis was.

"It's a good thing that Walsh appears to have a convinction for defending his choices, then," he noted. "And that this Senator appears to have enough dirt on him to keep you in the clear..."

But he could certainly see why that suddenly felt like a very thin line to walk.

Goose trembled as he clung onto Ignis’ hand, perhaps a bit more tightly than necessary but it felt comforting.

There was a pause as he considered what to say, “I just don’t know what to do about the information … Walsh clearly never intended for me to find out …I can’t exactly just ask him, I don’t know who would be listening,”

He paused again and hesitated.

“It’s …it’s not just Walsh I found out about,” Goose said softly, “the doctor who raised me in the program, Max Sawyer …we were told he was executed on treason charges, even though I know he wasn’t a traitor …it turns out he faked his death with Walsh’s help and he’s been in hiding and has a family now,”

"Sometimes," said Ignis, after a moment of consideration, "most times, actually, the best thing to do with volitile information is nothing at all. Information can often be an even more powerful weapon than guns and swords, but it is much more difficult to weild properly. It sounds as though most of these secrets are currently hanging in an already delicate balance, Shane. It would be...endlessly problematic to upset that..."

Which, considering his reaction, it was clear that he at least understood that much, but perhaps it didnt hurt to hear it.

And, also, considering his reaction...Ignis was a little more hesitant, with this next part, but he eventually added, "Though it's not easy, bearing the burden on information on your shoulders alone. If you do need someone to talk to....that's a burden I am very good at carrying."

Summer had suggested as much last night and so it seemed that not acting on the information was the best course of action …he wasn’t sure what he was going to do if the information did get out. He didn’t trust Wheiner to keep his end of the deal that was for sure.

Goose nodded, using his free hand to wipe away those tears, “I feel so stupid,” he mumbled, “crying about this…I spent 19 years not knowing, I …I don’t know why I expected …I mean…it wasn’t like it was going to change anything, Walsh wouldn’t be able to publicly acknowledge me anyway,”

"It's no small thing to have suddenly dropped on you," Ignis pointed out. "It's completely understandabe that attempting to process it would leave you reeling. It probably will put quite a bit of those nineteen years into a new perspective...and that's not even saying anything about the perspective it will give you going forward..."

“It certainly explained why he took custody of me after Wolf Den and why he was eager to get rid of me,” Goose sighed, “we never even talked about Wolf Den and what the future would mean …he shipped me off to boarding school the first chance he got …”

Goose was silent as another thought came to him, “do you think I should at least let my team know what I discovered?”

Ignis clearly didn't know much about Walsh, beyond what had been shared so far, but he found himself regarding Shane's assessment of the situation a bit dubiously. He was sure it had to be much more nuanced than that, but, before he could even begin to touch on that, there was a new question to consider put to the forefront.

Because the response to that, he felt, was significantly easier.

"Do you think it would help? If they knew?"

“I …I don’t know,” Goose admitted, “I …I know I’d be putting them in danger if they knew but if they found out and realised that I hadn’t told them, they might…”

He sighed, “Niko’s psychic I’ve never been good at keeping things from her, she’ll know something’s wrong, even if I didn’t tell them,”

"I should hope," Ignis offered, "if they found out and realized that you hadn't told them, they would understand the reasons why them having that information would put them in a compromising position. I can only assume that is exactly why Walsh had never dained to impart this knowledge to you in the first place."

Goose could only nod, he was afraid he was going to start crying again and it was a few moments before he could talk again.

“I just…” Goose sighed, “keeping something like this from the team feels wrong, even if I don’t tell them to protect them…”

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, “I know from what Star and Ariel told me, I must eventually tell them but I don’t know if it’s the same timeline or I’ll mess it up by telling them now…”

"Perhaps you'll know the time when it arrives," Ignis told him. "Perhaps it never will. But I do understand that particular conundrum. I..." There was a small moment of hestiation, of reordering his thoughts. "Whenever this place has offered us a look into a potential future, it has opened the door into a rather...distressing potential future for Eos as whole. Most of the reason I've agreed to be here is hoping that they might help reveal some hint as to how to avoid it. And deciding exactly what to share with the others has not been easy."

“I hope so,” Goose sighed, “I believe I’m at least supposed to end up meeting with Max again, since Walsh is supposed to end up adopting his son Billy maybe I’ll know for sure when that happens?”

He paused, listening to Ignis talk about his own experiences with possible future knowledge, “How do you decide what to tell them then in those cases?” Goose wondered.

Ignis was quiet for a moment as he considered how to answer that question effectively....and in a way that might help with Shane's own situation.

"When I could be certain that the benefits of him knowing far outweighed the benefits of his ignorance," he decided. "I'd rather have him prepared for what may be coming than have him blindly stumbling into it, even if it is hard to hear. I think....in the case of your team and your Commander Walsh....you may have to decide which is better for them.

"But it is worth noting," he added, starting to increasingly feel like the answer he wa giving was not the answer Shane particularly wanted to hear, "that your CO clearly felt it was a matter best left unsaid, and perhaps that was with very good reason."

Goose listened to Ignis’ response, as tempting as it was to go and confront Walsh about everything…he knew that wasn’t possible.

He was silent for a moment as he debated on what to do.

“I guess …it really wouldn’t be fair to put that burden on my team, keeping that secret. I mean I suppose I could always ask Ambassadors Waldo and Zozo…I trust them but I think even with their influence they wouldn’t be able to do much, even though Star said the only reason she was allowed to live with us was because they intervened, maybe they would be able to help,”

He sighed, “I suppose the most I can do is be patient and see what happens,”

Patience was definitely a virtue that he did not have.

And, knowing that, Ignis had to smile faintly, because it was good to hear Shane come around to the conclusion that he was rather hoping he'd reach. "Which is oftentimes much harder than it sounds," he said, although, well, he'd never had too much of a problem with patience at all, until just fairly recently, all thanks to the very man sitting across from him on the other side of the desk right now. "But probably the right thing."

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Office Hours: Office #27; Thursday [04/07].

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