And Ignis' first impulse was tell Liliana that, no, he didn't wish, that he didn't want to ask her of anything that she did not to freely tell him herself. There were times, of course, where he felt he needed to ask, but hadn't they already drifted down this difference between want and need? Because she was right; he had contented himself to let her secrets be secrets, the importance she placed on privacy and mystique and keeping those cards incredibly close to her very ample chest. And while he liked to think that he knew her far better than even she realized, he had made peace with the fact that there were some things he may just never know...
But he also recognized it for what it was, the inherent trust being offered to him now. As well as the traps inherent in them. Did he ask about something as blithe and inconsequential as his own little tidbit a second ago, emphasizing his dedication to her secrets, but risking negating the depths of this gift or being dismissive of it? Or what if he did ask about those big, looming ones that he was always just waiting to come and bite him in the ass? What if he tread too closely to to someone she didn't want to reveal (and he should have known better) and the whole thing soured fast? He still remembered with a dreadful knot in his stomach the time she came home from Innistrad, after having been attacked in her home, covered in blood and picking pieces of glass from her hair...
What if he asked a question and got an answer he didn't want?
And then there was a matter of a different sort of question, not about her, but about them. Ask me something, she said, and there'd been something he'd been agonizing over asking for months now.
And that almost led him to some sort of hint of closing in on an actual answer, but he could hear the paella softly bubbling on the stove, reminding him that if he took much longer, surely it would be overcooked, and that at least settled a response for now.
"May I get back to you on that?" he asked, with a weak, apologetic sort of smile. "You know I don't like to be too hasty with things, and, well...when there is so much to choose from, one does feel a bit of pressure, to ensure that they choose well."
And he was, if he was entirely honest with himself, a bit disappointed, really, that there hadn't been anything that she would just...want to share with him. Without provocation, or prompting, besides just that initially volleying back of the game she's started. Be it big or small, joyful or melancholy....
But Liliana played byher rules, or she played not at all.
no subject
But he also recognized it for what it was, the inherent trust being offered to him now. As well as the traps inherent in them. Did he ask about something as blithe and inconsequential as his own little tidbit a second ago, emphasizing his dedication to her secrets, but risking negating the depths of this gift or being dismissive of it? Or what if he did ask about those big, looming ones that he was always just waiting to come and bite him in the ass? What if he tread too closely to to someone she didn't want to reveal (and he should have known better) and the whole thing soured fast? He still remembered with a dreadful knot in his stomach the time she came home from Innistrad, after having been attacked in her home, covered in blood and picking pieces of glass from her hair...
What if he asked a question and got an answer he didn't want?
And then there was a matter of a different sort of question, not about her, but about them. Ask me something, she said, and there'd been something he'd been agonizing over asking for months now.
And that almost led him to some sort of hint of closing in on an actual answer, but he could hear the paella softly bubbling on the stove, reminding him that if he took much longer, surely it would be overcooked, and that at least settled a response for now.
"May I get back to you on that?" he asked, with a weak, apologetic sort of smile. "You know I don't like to be too hasty with things, and, well...when there is so much to choose from, one does feel a bit of pressure, to ensure that they choose well."
And he was, if he was entirely honest with himself, a bit disappointed, really, that there hadn't been anything that she would just...want to share with him. Without provocation, or prompting, besides just that initially volleying back of the game she's started. Be it big or small, joyful or melancholy....
But Liliana played byher rules, or she played not at all.